Tune my heart

So my heart needs tuning. 

Hospital bills, adjusting to life as a stay-at-home mom, contemplating working again, missing my husband who works too many hours....the list can go on! 

Then one day She Reads Truth (a great daily blog devotional, Shereadstruth.com) addresses the idea of tuning your heart. So I'm a visual picture kinda girl so think tuning a guitar. Yep this struck me not the first day I read it but the second time. Anyone have this happen, you ponder an issue then a day or hours later it becomes clearer. 

Well the second time I read it, it all became relevant. I need to tune my heart, like tuning a guitar. I need to twist and listen, twist and listen. Pray and listen to God. Draw in close so I can hear and be in tune to what he wants from me. 

My all time favorite hymn is

Come, thou Fount of every blessing,

tune my heart to sing thy grace;

streams of mercy, never ceasing,

call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,

mount of thy redeeming love.

Here I raise mine Ebenezer;

hither by thy help I’m come;

and I hope, by thy good pleasure,

safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,

wandering from the fold of God;

he, to rescue me from danger,

interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor

daily I’m constrained to be!

Let thy goodness, like a fetter,

bind my wandering heart to thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

prone to leave the God I love;

here’s my heart, O take and seal it,

seal it for thy courts above.

 "Call for songs of loudest praise" so I know he wants me to bring glory to him name by loving those around me but how specifically should I do that being a stay at home mom?

Some of my thoughts: 

-Join mom groups to share, inspire and encourage other moms. 

-Host a cookie exchange

-Have people over more

-Give to the people struggling on the corner or in front of the store

-Start working again and be a light in the work force

-Dedicate time to seriously pray for people in need; sick people, missionaries, uhreached people

-Write more on my blog in hope that it touches people

Would love to hear other ideas.

Paisley's first Halloween

We started the morning out with a trip to Oak glen with our mommy group to get some yummy doughnuts. Costumes and all, which resulted in free doughnuts. There was cuteness overload with all the little ones in costume!

It was sunny and cold unlike when we left and it was drizzly. 

We decided to stay home and invite the grandparents over for pumpkin inspired food. Pumpkin bacon pasta, canon pumpkin soup and moist pumpkin bread, yumm! Of course snacked on candy too! A great delicious idea until, 2 am when little miss paisley woke up with gas. 

So we had just enough trick or treaters to make it fun and not overly ridiculous. We did not run out of candy. Me and the grandmas decided to walk up the street to the fall festival with our little cow. Boy was that a mistake. It was too cold and dark for miss cow she cried the whole way home. The minute we steped on our lawn she started to stop and the minute we walked inside she was fine. By fine I mean smiling. Her first little tantrum...boy our we in for it! She sure does know how to let us know she does not like something, even at a young age. 

Cousins Ezra Caleb and uncle Ryan came by. Paisley enjoyed their company.

A pretty eventful first Halloween. We shall se what next year entails, will she even want to go trick or treating?

Craft time!

I love when I can do Pinterest crafts!

So it started when I was looking online at a headband website, super cute head bands Baby Bling! However, if your like me and can't afford $12 headbands. They are super cool though

Ike soft material that won't leave an indent. The dreaded baby headband indent that makes every parent have that horrible parent moment! But headbands are just so cute and if your anything like me... " I want to train her when she's little to like headbands so put it on before she notices!" 

Ok so after the overpriced soft headbands I went to Pinterest, my go to when thing are to expensive to buy. Of course I found numerous diy headband ideas. What is even cooler is they told me to recycle an old shirt. Yippee! One old shirt that was laying around making clutter turned into two and could be more cute head bands! Ready for the outcome....

I think I might have the cutest little model!😊

Loving life with our baby girl

Children truly are a blessing from God. I think I can speak for Cam we both love every second of life with little Paisley Grace.

 He is the best daddy in the world. He is the cutest daddy and knows just how to calm her when she is beyond tired. He calls it the Sleeper Hold, he cuddles her in close and almost squeezes her, once she realizes what's going on she calms and clothes her eyes. 

So another funny story, maybe a coincidence were still testing it to be true. So Paisley was fussy, I mean beyond consoling three night in a row at the same time, 7:30. As the third night came by I really started to investigate what is wrong, there were short periods where she would stop crying, so I started to look at what was different during those time periods. One thing I noticed is there were bright lights on. Well the crying started again so I told Cam we need to turn all the lights on and see if it helps her stoop crying.....we'll guess what she stopped! Conclusions: 1. She is afraid of the dark. 2. Darkness means bedtime. 3. Just a coincidence. With more time we shall know. 

Me and Cam are enjoying this parenting thing, our key is, keep it simple! Also don't stress, things happen. Paisley already had her first cold and she lived. She got her first scratch that needed a kiss and ice. She smiles all the time, whenever you talk to her. She is one content girlie!

Birth story

Wow!! What a week, the best way I can describe it is an emotional roller coaster. I am going to fill in  for my wife Jessie this time because I got a first hand front row look at a very scary, but happy, and also very emotional moment in our lives.  If  you have read the blogs before this you know that Jessie had what has seemed to be a perfect pregnancy. We were so excited to finally get to see our little Paisley Grace, and it seemed like the day would never arrive.
     Well the day came in a flash, I was at work on July 15 sitting waiting for the text that we needed to go to the hospital. So after a full day of work and a whole lot of false alarms I finally got the text that her contractions were lite; but regular and the nurse said to go in and at least get checked out. We were off our bags were packed and we were ready the two of us with huge smiles on our faces.
      When we arrived at the hospital we both mentioned that it didn't seem real yet because we were probably just going to get sent home. Which was very close to happening until they took Jessie's blood pressure and it was a little high. They then said well we are going to take a blood test to see if we find anything odd. When the blood test came back that Jessie had low platelets the nurse said well that sounds like preeclampsia and we should probably induce.
      So here we go at that moment it all got real we were going to have a baby before we knew it so they got us a room and hooked up the IV to induce labor. It was a long night of contractions and labor. Jessie did have an epidural that worked well, but only for half the night about midway through the night the epidural started to wear off and the machine started to beep because there was no medicine left in the bag. We got tired of the beeping and called the nurse the nurse changed the bag but took so long doing it that Jessie had all the feeling back in her body. The epidural had to start from scratch but it was too late the baby was ready to crown and Jessie was in some good pain, so much for the idea of a nice easy labor. It all started to happen and I had some huge butterflies in my stomach which I am sure is normal.
     When the DR. came in he was a tall man with a serious look on his face I could tell he meant business he then asked the nurse if her blood pressure was still high and if the platelets were still low. Both answers seemed to be the ones he didn't want to here the nurse said yes to both. He took a deep breath and then said ok I will be right back. So we waited while Jessie pushed and  was in tons of pain. They gave about 5 boluses' or (shots of pain killer directly in to the IV) and non of them took away the pain. After what seemed like forever the DR came back he had his scrubs on and got in position. This is when the roller coaster was at its peek for me at least. You know when you are at the very top ready for the big drop but you cant see where your going so you have this uneasy filling in your stomach. It felt like maybe two good pushes by Jessie and boom baby was out the DR had me cut the umbilical chord and clipped it and had the baby put on Jessie SKIN to SKIN. The first thing I noticed after that was that the DR was covered in blood and he looked at me then the nurse and said there is some placenta missing so we need to do a DNC. After that even more blood came out of Jessie and she had a hemorrhage in her uterus he looked at us again and at the baby and called for a "code White" and told them to get the baby out of the room. So there went our baby girl she was pretty blue and had some fluid left in her body. I sent Grandma Kristy with the baby and I stayed with Jessie. She looked so pale and white but she was doing great her heart rate never dropped and her blood pressure dropped to a normal rate for the first time all day. The room filled with twenty nurses and another DR in no time. They all had a job to do it looked like bee hive in there. At this point Jessie and I both looked at each other and said the same words we should pray so I started and man what a feeling knowing that your wife the lady that you love with all your heart is bleeding and the DR is trying everything to stop it and nothing is working but at the same time giving it all away to God because he is bigger than any problem we have. Oh man what a difference those prayers made for me just the comfort of my mind knowing that it was all ok. Then the DR got out a device called the Bakri balloon they insert it into the uterus and pumped it with saline to make it expand against the walls to stop the hemorrhaging. Man and it finally worked the DR said that if it didn't the next step was a hysterectomy and thank God it worked so now that Jessie was ok for the moment it was time for me to go outside to let all the emotion that I was hiding from Jessie out. I cried and ate a Rosa Marias burrito. I was stable so I was off to see the baby who was hooked to oxygen and IVs to make sure that she was plenty strong. Man was it love at first touch. I couldn't believe that she was so pretty and precious and that she was OUR daughter. This wasn't the end but it was a break. After two days of staying in the hospital and going down to see and feed paisley we got the news. Even though Jessie is now anemic and doesn't have all the blood she needs we did get to go home, but not with our baby so even though it was nice to have my wife back without needing a blood transfusion. We still didn't have that precious little girl home. Finally after two extra days of jumping through hoops we finally got to take her home it was finally the end of that crazy rollercoaster ride where we could get off that uncomfortable seat and be a little more in control of what was happening.  It was and is a great blessing to have friends and family that were so concerned for us and willing to do anything for Jess and I. Thank you everyone who prayed for us, who brought us food, and the people who stayed up late just to listen and talk to us.

But most of all thank you to the great DR's and nurses who stayed calm, cool, and collected in a very scary situation.

God's Grace

After after a day of traveling to the hospital coming and going for feedings Cam and I were exhausted emotional and physically. The doctors and nurses told us they wanted to keep Paisley one more day at least. We just did not understand, we cried out to God in complaint. In between feedings we drove around the houses in Redlands and planned out all these reasons we should be able to take our baby home. We had our game plan ready for when we went in next. Wehat we were really doing was trying to take the whole situation into our own hands. Well usually when you do this it doesn't work....and it didn't! The nurse (we both disliked she sweet-talked us) shot down all our reasons we thought it was better she went home. Little did we know and think that God wanted to keep her there one more day to teach us. Despite lots of tears me and Cam developed our relationship on new levels. We learned that God is full of Grace and mercy. As the day went on he showed us numerous glimpses of his grace. First glimpse, so they weighted Paisley before and after each feeding to see how much she ate. Well the next feeding she gained the exact amount they wanted to see her eating, coincidence or God you can decide. Next glimpse, as I was coming up the elevator I started talking to this lady asking about the baby she was there for. She was the grandma of Logan the micro premie next to Paisley. Micro premie, he was born at 22 weeks, less than a pound. We talked for a bit I got the whole story and told her I would be praying for Logan and his mom because they were on a long journey much longer than ours. Another reminder our situation could be a lot worse. Maybe that's why God wanted Paisley to stay another night so I would meet this grandma and we could encourage each other. Everything happens for a reason. Third glimpse, so Paisley had this feeding tube in her nose went straight to her stomach. They feed her thought that when she was too tired to eat. (They gorged my poor baby in there.) Any way, so Cam and I had talked about asking them to take it out it was a hinderence to getting her strong enough to be able to come home. Well our little stubborn fighter did not like all the things on her from the get-go. Low-and-behold as Cam is holding her she rips the thing right out. Was she trying to tell us something, was God showing through our little girl that he was in charge and not the nurses. Last glimpse of Gods Grace was the night nurse we had. She was patient and caring. She shared with Cam the specific diagnosis of Paisley and saw how healthy she was getting. She appeared to think and wonder why Paisely was still in there too. Did God Grace us with this nurse to provide a glimpse of hope? At the end of the night we went home with much different emotions then the night before. Earlier we had talked about not crying on the way home and we almost achieved that. Our tears this time were more joyful and thankful. We were filled with joy at how our bigger than big God had cared about our complaining selves and revealed numerous glimpses of his love to us. He did not have to but he did because he loves us.

Homestretch

Week 38 and 39 

Total weight gain: gained 25 pounds

Maternity clothes: my favorite maternity shorts but rug all shirts.

Stretch marks: No new ones.

Sleep: Getting up a couple times to go to the bathroom because my whole stomach just aches, peeing helps a little. It's starting to get uncomfortable but nothing that keeps me from sleep.

Best moment of this week: Going to dog beach with Trouty. He loved running up and down the shore but avoids the water.

Miss anything: energy.

Movement: Oh yes she is moving even more, she has not slowed down at all!

Food cravings: nothing really new. Just same old In-n-Out

Belly button in or out: It's getting smaller.

Wedding rings on or off: On.

Happy or moody most of the time: Mostly happy

Looking forward to: Birthday and wishing she would come early for my present.

Total weight gain: gained 25 pounds

Best moment of this week: Going down to Redondo Beach to ride bikes and eat at Rudy's. Yep 39 weeks and riding a bike, my dad tried to stop me saying it wasn't good, mom and Cam thought it was ok. 

Miss anything: room to eat and not feel full all the time.

Movement: Oh yes, still not slowing down.

Food cravings: nothing really new, just French fries

Belly button in or out: It's getting smaller.

Wedding rings on or off: On,

Looking forward to: Her coming!